Eggs a la casa Roberticus

Every day I have eggs for breakfast.
It used to be toast, until I found that I was sluggish and tired after eating it (so much for baking bread).

In the morning I am usually groping my way through a fog of missed sleep and half remembered dreams, so I dont want to have to think or muck about  (or be awake usually). All I want is to be able to copy the old routine like an automaton, in minmal time, with minimal fuss, hence - Eggs a la casa roberticus.

One cannot simply cook the eggs and then put down the wooden spoon. Breakfast must consist of psychoactive drugs and protein, so tea or coffee must be brewed at the same time.
Anything else is just eggs.

You need:
1 kettle
1 mains power supply
water
2 eggs
coffee or tea
a shower
mayonnaise
2 spoons
pepper
milk? sugar? creamer?

step 1
Turn on the kettle and take a shower.

step 2
Put the non-stick frying pan on the stovetop at low heat, pour a little oil into the pan
(add frying pan, stovetop, gas and oil to the list of required items)

Step 3
set your tea brewing or Vietnamese Coffee

Step 4
Shake the oil around the pan and watch how it moves. If its sluggish, let it heat up some more. Dont worry too much. If the pan is on the cool side, it will make flipping the eggs easier.

Break 2 eggs into the pan and pinch the sacks to break them open.
I dont mean the yolk, i mean that funny raised bit of middle albumen. The chalaziferous layer.

Get a plate or bowl and smear a little bit of mayonnaise around the bottom. Get the milk out of the fridge etc..

Sep 5
Check your eggs and give the pan a shake to see if the eggs have cooked enough to be flipped.


Flip the eggs as soon as they have enough structure to maintain their shape while flying through the air. Use big languid movements with a lot of wrist-flick and try to catch the egg high, so it doesn't hit the pan too hard (and splash you with hot liquid egg)

Turn the pan off as soon as the eggs are flipped. the residual heat will cook the rest.

Finish prepping your tea then shuffle the eggs into the pan. Crack a little pepper if its nearby.

Immidiatly rinse the pan in hot water, rubbing away any residual egg with your fingers.
The pan is now clean so set it aside for tomorrow.

Get your tea and eggs in front of the computer and read the news while you eat breakfast.